Your Check is in the Mail

Have you gotten your "economic stimulus" check yet? They started being mass produced on May 8, and pretty soon, the American economy will once again be the strongest in the world.

I got this idea from P.J. O'Rourke [pdf]:

Imagine a fellow who can bench press 168 lbs. (Probably more than I can do, but hardly a record.) While at the gym, he hears a thundering noise outside. The rumble is caused by a huge metal ball, rolling down the street, crushing every car in its path. The ball weighs over 13,000 lbs -- nearly 7 tons.

Undaunted, our valiant bench-presser stakes out ground in the middle of the street, moves loose gravel out from under his gym shoes to ensure good traction, and holds his arms out stiff as a board, ready to stop the 13,000-lb. metal globe with 168 pounds of a mighty horizontal bench press.

President Bush and both houses of Congress -- both Republicans and Democrats combined -- can collectively bench press only $168 billion. They want us to believe that their mighty heave-ho is going to change the trajectory of a $13 Trillion dollar economy.

(Public school graduates are permitted to use calculators to confirm the mathematical proportions of our analogy.)

Here's more information about the "Stimulus Package." Wait a minute. That article is about the President's 2001 Stimulus Package. Try this: Bush to Propose $600 Billion Economic Stimulus Package. No wait -- that's the 2003 Stimulus Package. Hmmm. Shouldn't the economy have been stimulated by now? OK, check out the video here.